Hollow Notes

I know I’m a little behind with my blog posts, but sometimes I get a little scared of what I’ll write if I force myself to sit down and type my thoughts when I’m in certain moods. Unfortunately, My blog can’t suffer just because I am, (suffering is a pretty intense word.. I guess we can just say some things are making me sad) and I must get this show on the road, although I warn you.. My songs aren’t necessarily going to be very happy at the moment.

The song we’ll start with this weekend has been very dear to me over the past few weeks, because it takes into account my vacillating views of love. The Song is Hollow Notes, by Novi Split, and I discovered it on a One Tree Hill episode a few weeks ago. The show may have gone downhill, but at least the music is still fantastic.

When I listen to this song all I can think about is the final chorus:

“I know that you'd say
I can't commit to anything
I'm way too settled down
I can't let go of anything
that doesn't stick around

and I will pray
and I will sing
to be a part of anything
Then I'll give up
and you will too
but we do what we have to do”

These lyrics describe my part in all of my relationships thus far. I spend so much time looking for reasons to be unhappy that I completely ignore the wonderful things in front of me. Essentially I’m a chaser. I will climb mountains, cross valleys, and swim rivers (now I’m switching to a temptations song :P) as long as your still pushing me away, but the second you come running towards me I start to fear the commitment, and essentially the possibility of actually being happy with someone.

I am perfectly aware of this pattern, and I can promise you that I’ve done everything I can to try to stop it, but it doesn’t go away. I pray and sing “to be a part of anything” that will change my ways, but I have to come to terms that only I can fix the messes within me, and hopefully by the time I have accomplished this I won’t have burned every bridge to happiness..

Hollow Notes - Novi Split - Hush Records

P.s. Not all of my songs are available on youtube, so this clip from imeem will a have to suffice. For the sake of aesthetics I'll be posting a relevant postsecret card to connect with the song.